A review of The Klaxons(It's not over yet)
Klaxons got ya'll fooled. The "hair" and the "cool"" attitude."
It’s just a ruse to keep you from focusing on the “music”. Because they know that when you start listening to the sound that their voices and “instruments” are making you’ll realize what you’re hearing. They’re a dance version of the late 90’s soft-electro-epics version of late era Hall and Oates.
All you have to do is close your eyes and picture Coldplay singing "It's Not Over Yet" and you'll see what I mean.
Everybody knows, if you like Coldplay you're an old dude. You’re an oldy-old-old. You're older than your dad was when you were 9 and you were like "That man is fucking old. I mean, he's got a fucking greasy beard and warts. My dad is close to death."
If you dig the Klaxons, well, then you're just an old dude who still thinks he's young because he's making sweaty sex-time eyes as he jogs in place like a fitness guru at the club.
Guess what. Those aren't sexy eyes. That's a leer.
Guess what else. Real young people don't dance to music. They fuck on beat standing up.
That "moving your body cuz your high on music "shit is finished. You need to have your dick out as soon as you get past the bouncer. You need to start humping the air and walking towards all females. Because chicks in the club are not looking to "vibe." They're trying to get pregnant. Why are they trying to get pregnant? Because their feminine intuition tells them that 1.) A relationship with you outside the confines of the club would be a dreadful waste of happiness and all positive energy and 2.) The Apocalypse is coming, males will be annihilated, and they need to plant that seed and repopulate the Earth or else mankind will be wiped without a trace from the face of the planet.
See, once again you've failed. You're a horrible boyfriend, a lousy dancer, a failed novelist and a Klaxons fan.
Have fun looking back.
Klaxons got ya'll fooled. The "hair" and the "cool"" attitude."
It’s just a ruse to keep you from focusing on the “music”. Because they know that when you start listening to the sound that their voices and “instruments” are making you’ll realize what you’re hearing. They’re a dance version of the late 90’s soft-electro-epics version of late era Hall and Oates.
All you have to do is close your eyes and picture Coldplay singing "It's Not Over Yet" and you'll see what I mean.
Everybody knows, if you like Coldplay you're an old dude. You’re an oldy-old-old. You're older than your dad was when you were 9 and you were like "That man is fucking old. I mean, he's got a fucking greasy beard and warts. My dad is close to death."
If you dig the Klaxons, well, then you're just an old dude who still thinks he's young because he's making sweaty sex-time eyes as he jogs in place like a fitness guru at the club.
Guess what. Those aren't sexy eyes. That's a leer.
Guess what else. Real young people don't dance to music. They fuck on beat standing up.
That "moving your body cuz your high on music "shit is finished. You need to have your dick out as soon as you get past the bouncer. You need to start humping the air and walking towards all females. Because chicks in the club are not looking to "vibe." They're trying to get pregnant. Why are they trying to get pregnant? Because their feminine intuition tells them that 1.) A relationship with you outside the confines of the club would be a dreadful waste of happiness and all positive energy and 2.) The Apocalypse is coming, males will be annihilated, and they need to plant that seed and repopulate the Earth or else mankind will be wiped without a trace from the face of the planet.
See, once again you've failed. You're a horrible boyfriend, a lousy dancer, a failed novelist and a Klaxons fan.
Have fun looking back.
3 Comments:
Hearing the opening bars of that tune is like being hit over the head with a feathered shit stick.
Thanks for defining the older-than-old leer dude demographic, that's so me!
DAMN.... what a dis. that was an epic fucking dis.
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